Stop Apologizing for Simply Existing: A Leadership Perspective

Why do we say 'sorry' just for existing as we are?

This morning, after dropping my son off at camp, I stopped by the grocery store to pick up some breakfast drinks (Koia, my favorite).

As I was leaving, I noticed a mom walking in with her toddler. They were moving slowly across the parking lot in front of me, and she looked at me and mouthed, "sorry!"

I shook my head and smiled, indicating that no apology was needed. But it got me thinking.

➡ Why do we feel the need to apologize for simply existing as we are?

➡ Why do women, in particular, apologize so much?

In my second job (third if you count selling White Sox tickets along the highway, but I don't), a kind male colleague pointed out how often I apologized.

At least 5 times a day.

He would gently interrupt or correct me each time, showing me that the apology wasn't necessary.

I really appreciated his guidance and took it to heart. Even when making mistakes (as we all do), I started saying "thanks for catching that" instead of "I'm sorry."

The message of this post is: don't apologize for existing. Don't apologize for being exactly as you are. Save apologies for really big mistakes, that actually hurt someone. They're more meaningful that way.

➡ As leaders, it's crucial to foster an environment where team members feel confident and valued without feeling the need to apologize for every little thing.

Encouraging a culture of gratitude and constructive feedback over unnecessary apologies can significantly boost morale and productivity.

➡ This is where people want to work. Where people lead by example and empower their teams to own their presence unapologetically.